It’s World Breastfeeding Week...Again
Thanks to Instagram, I’m aware that it’s once again World Breastfeeding Week! I’m not sure if I didn’t notice because it’s been about eight years since I last breastfed, or if the current state of affairs has me completely lost as to what day it is. (Groundhog’s Day, right?) Oh yeah...it is indeed the first week of August, hence World BF Week.
I’d like to give a shout out to @shishi.rose and her awesome World Breastfeeding Week post that is “not just about the baby. This is a full body experience.” Instead of the term “breastfeeding” (or “chestfeeding”), she called it “body feeding” and she was SPOT ON! My experience with breastfeeding was definitely that!
With a newborn, I had to get my body propped just so in my glider or on the bed, so I could be there for the long haul. Sometimes, my body still ached from being stuck there so long. By the time my first was a few months old, I pretty much always nursed in bed, in the hopes that this wide-eyed baby with a fierce case of FOMO might actually fall asleep and I could sneak away long enough to catch my breath, pee by myself, and if I was lucky eat a quick snack. It wasn’t long before this little one was mobile and her idea of nursing to sleep was basically standing/kneeling over my body and latching on from above. The acrobatics got more intense as she got older and more agile. I nursed her well into her third year- I share this not to wave some sort of bullshit nursing award, but to paint a picture of how intense the acrobatics and full-body experience of breastfeeding got for me. Side note: I never liked nursing much. Some days I kept on because of a crazy level of postpartum depression-induced mommy guilt and other days it was simply easier than this child’s wrath if I told her no. This kid knew how to rip off my shirt, get into my bra, and take what she thought was hers. Strange to think that nearly two decades later, she now fits into my bras and “borrows” them until they become her own. Lol!
Years later, her siblings’ habits were not too different, although these two were slightly more polite. As the second one grew into a toddler, he could be distracted easily with a bottle of milk or his “binkie,” which gave me the space to nurse his newborn sister. Nevertheless, he still opted for me some of the time and I allowed the tandem nursing in hopes of minimizing sibling rivalry. There were days with these two little ones when I thought I’d lose my mind and I could get a moment of peace with one on each boob. It nearly made my skin crawl- full body indeed!- but at least I could stop for a moment and rest my eyes without worrying what hell may break loose at the hands of the two year old.
My nursing experience finally came to an end when the youngest was around two. She wasn’t nursing very much at that point and I just couldn’t take it anymore. One night, rocking her to sleep, I told her that was the last time. And it was and it was fine. For her, I think. For me, it was more than fine! After basically five straight years of pregnancy or nursing, I finally had my body back! I totally understand why some people love nursing their babies and I respect that. We had a few of those sweet, quiet moments. And I definitely understand those who decide it just won’t work for them and I respect that, too. There is a very wide range of experiences when it comes to breast/chestfeeding, even for the same person! I’m glad I was able to persevere and do what felt best for my babies at the time, but I certainly don’t miss the overwhelm of Full. Body. Feeding! Happy World Breastfeeding Week, however you choose to celebrate!